The Nucleus

Written by Christy Whitman September 27, 2011

One thing I know for sure is that in order to have a happy child, the couple needs to be happy. And the parents individually need to be happy.

When I am not centered and feeling good about myself, it affects my husband and me as a couple, and then it affects the kids.

The best thing you can do for your kids and your entire family is to make sure you feel joyful. When both parents feel good, then they can feel good as a couple. That good feeling is extended to the children.

Tips to Create a Happy Child:

  1. Both mom and dad need to take time for themselves. I go to the spa and get a massage, or I go away for a  women’s empowerment weekend. My  husband, Frederic, takes time to play golf. This is so important because when we do that, we feel rejuvenated, and then we can give more to our each other and also to the kids. During the weeks when we don’t take our individual time, we find that we are not as patient or centered, and we don’t feel as happy. That then affects us as a couple and also the kids. Regardless if it is a weekly coffee date with a friend, a massage, or a nice walk in nature, take time to center yourself. We also work out at the gym, and that makes us feel better too.
  2. Take time as a couple. We learned very early on that it is very easy to lose yourself with the kids. You become so consumed with all the things that need to be done on a daily basis that it is easy to forget to feed the relationship. It is important to take the time as a couple each week so that you can stay connected to your partner and be reminded of the original reason you became a couple in the first place. We used to go to breakfast while our nanny watched the boys. Just having that time to talk was priceless. Then we realized that even though we were alone and we were able to have a conversation that was uninterrupted, we also needed to connect to the enjoyment of our relationship and have fun with one another. So we started to take dance classes together. This connected us. We had fun, and it was something we shared together. It then positively affected the family. If you and your partner don’t enjoy dancing, then find something that you do enjoy doing together and commit to doing those things so that  you are feeding the relationship.
  3. Enjoy the kids. Remember your joy is a shared gift with your partner. The joy and love that you and your partner create is the nucleus of your family. That bubble of love and light extends to the kids. This will help them have a healthy mind, a happy heart and a joyful soul.

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